


Wait For Now

by Stunner76



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 00:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12047382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stunner76/pseuds/Stunner76
Summary: Solas and Seywn Lavellan had been lovers until he left her after she saved the world. She broke the orb but he broke her heart. Will she ever take him back? Will she find a new love?





	1. Chapter 1

It had been years since he walked those grounds, since he had last heard her laugh or seen her smile in person. Memories in the Fade could only satisfy him so much and invading her dreams was not going to happen. Sewyn of Clan Lavellan was a huntress with no reserve, not in war and not in love. She had taken a monster by the hand and loved him, left him feeling more pain, more fear, than he ever thought possible.

She had begged him to stay with her that night, begged him to stay standing when the fight ended. He had made good on the promises he made, but he left. Without any sort of explanation. An ancient artifact of their culture, destroyed. By her, the one who held his heart so tightly he was unable to breathe without her.

The clouds hid the stars and the moon that cold night in Skyhold, but in the darkness, he saw her, saw the beautiful huntress standing on her balcony. In that moment, she was not Sewyn, she was Andruil. Blood and force. A simple Dalish huntress had followed the Way of Three Trees in their purest form without even realizing it. Fly straight and do not waver - she set a goal for the Inquisition and did not stray from the path she set before herself. Bend but never break - showing kindness to those who needed it without letting them take advantage. Together we are stronger than the one - The Inquisition was not built by her own hands alone, she would not be where she was if it were not for the people who stood with her.

Looking for someone, watching, waiting, hoping for a safe return… The beast knew she was waiting for him to come back to her. But he could not bring himself to do so. Not yet. He just had to see her, see that she was safe. And she was. He needed her but he was heartache and pain. He had hurt her so much. He was not the man she loved, he was a thief and a liar.

But she had adored the beast so much that she scared him back into the forest. He had dug his claws into the ground and howled so loud the Fade shook and the stars scattered in fear because he looked at himself and saw hell and she looked at him and saw heaven. How could he do that to such a pure being? How could he damage her heart in such a way that could never be repaired?

A noise, almost inaudible, cut through the monster’s heart as it sank lower in his chest. A sound so sad that he wanted to run to her and hold her, but also flee in terror. She was crying. A cry for him, repeating his name like a prayer, begging every known god for his safe return. If only for one more night, she pleaded. She had to know he was alive, know he was safe. She didn’t need to know his reason for leaving, everyone had their secrets. She needed to see him, needed him to know. What did she need him to know?

The beast had slipped passed the guards during rotations, leaving now was not an option without alerting them and their masters. Their masters would take him to her and he would never be able to leave. There were many places in Skyhold the beast could hide without being found. He knew these grounds better than she who had bent the heavens to her will.


	2. Chapter 2

Snow had fallen. When the beast awoke, there was food in front of him. Food and a familiar pair of eyes. A small creature wrapped in blankets sat on the other side of the abandoned room, watching, waiting with hope in those barely visible eyes. The beast smiled and slid the plate closer to the little one, offering it to him instead of filling that particular need.

“No thank you, I had breakfast early.” An elfling boy. As the beast watched in awe, the boy stood and gave him the blankets. “They’re warm now, please use them. You look cold. You should eat too. Mamae told me once that all the new refugees in Skyhold need warm blankets and warmer food. I would have brought you tea, but the nice lady in the kitchen told me it would be cold by the time I brought it to you.”  
After seven years of silence, the beast spoke. His voice as soft as the smile gracing his features. “What are you doing in here, da'len? The air is too cold in here for you. You should be with your parents. Surely they miss you so early in the day.”

“Uh-uh.” The boy shook his head, his side-swept hair falling in his face. “Mamae knows I’m in here. She and my auntie Leliana set this room up to be safe for me if something bad comes to Skyhold.” He sat closer to the beast and looked up at him with so much trust. The beast could kill the elfling and the little one didn’t seem to mind. “I told her of my new friend and she made you the plate, even carried it to the door so I wouldn’t drop it.”

The beast saw so much of himself in the boy that it scared him. “What is your name, da'len? What do your parents call you?” It was becoming easier to talk to the elfling. The little mage. He could feel the magic surrounding the boy now that they were sitting next to one another.

“My name is Fen'Lathlen, but all of Mamae’s friends just call me Fen. I don’t mind what they call me because they’re all so nice and they love me and Mamae.” He handed the plate of food to the beast, that same trust on his face. “You should eat something before your food gets too cold.”

That was when the beast knew. He had his suspicions upon first seeing the boy emerge from the blankets, but what was before him made him wary of being around him. “I have had so many names that I’m afraid I do not remember which is the real one.” The beast’s lie to the innocent child next to him. He picked at the food in his hands. “What would you like to call me?”

“Um…” Fen'Lathlen was thinking about it, as if trying to find the right words, the words that would make the beast stay instead of fleeing in terror. “Lady Morrigan said your name was Fen'Harel, and that explains why Mamae gave me the name she did. Mamae says your name is Solas… So… If it’s okay with you… I just want to call you Falon…”

He did want to flee in terror, but he stayed. It was in the elfling’s eyes. A hopeful knowing. The beast smiled at the little creature. “Falon will be just fine, Fen'Lathlen. My question is how you know as much as you do. Did your Mamae tell you, or one of her friends?”

“When I dream, I see things and I don’t get scared ‘cause when the bad things see me, they run away and when they good things see me, they play with me and show me memories that aren’t mine.” Fen'Lathlen curled his knees to his chest with a small smile. “One of them told me that if I were ever in enough trouble, if I was ever scared enough, all I had to do was… Was howl… And the Dread Wolf would save me.”

The beast wasn’t a beast to the boy, the same way he wasn’t a beast to his mother. “You’ve been into the Fade at such a young age?” Demons ran from him? Why? He had never heard of such events happening. Not since the Old Gods walked through.

“Lady Morrigan says it’s because of you, because I inhe-” Fen'Lathlen was struggling with the word and had to sound it out slowly. “In-hair-it-ted your magic. The same way she got hers. She says that when the bad things see me, they see you and that scares them. When I ask the good things why they were scared of you, they say it’s 'cause you shook the Fade.”

Seywn had told the boy who his father was to her and Morrigan told him the truth. “You said the spirits showed you memories that weren’t yours? I would like to know more about that.” What he really wanted to know was if Sewyn knew who her son’s friend was. Solas had hurt the huntress, surely she would not want a beast near such innocence out of fear of corruption.

“Uh-huh. They showed me you when you were young and they showed me that you’re not scary, that you did what had to be done.” What a marvelous creature this boy was, to have such a great understanding at a young age. “And they showed me that you really love Mamae and… And that’s why I come here. 'Cause Mamae cries a lot when she’s alone and I can hear it in my dreams….” Fen'Lathlen’s mood had shifted so something sadder and what the beast wouldn’t give to take that sadness away.

Solas had been the reason she was crying. He had hurt her so terribly that he didn’t deserve to be back in her safe haven. He didn’t deserve to spend time with the child they had created. He was a monster and a liar, he would definitely hurt their son, there was no doubt about it. “I miss her, Lathlen, I truly do. But I don’t deserve to have her in my life. That was one of the reasons I left her. I knew I would only hurt her and I thought distancing myself would give her the chance to grow, to be happy with someone new.”

“I’ve seen Mamae’s dreams when she actually sleeps at night. She thinks that if she had just loved you more, you would have stayed with her.” Fen'Lathlen scratched the shaved part of his head. “She thinks it’s 'cause she broke the orb, that it’s her fault you ran away. She doesn’t know the truth and she blames herself.” When tears welled up in the elfling’s eyes, the part of the beast that was Solas wanted to cry. The part of him that was Fen'Harel did as well. “She doesn’t sleep most nights 'cause you’re all she dreams about. She dreams about how she messed up and dr-drove you away. And wh-when I’m in her dreams, I try to make her feel better but I can’t 'cause she c-can’t hear me.”

Solas - Fen'Harel - pulled his son into his arms and rubbed his back as he cried. “There are some things that are so broken, they can’t be fixed, no matter how hard we try to help. Lathlen, please don’t cry. The fault is mine and there is no way I can atone for what I have done to her.” His son buried his face in his chest, seeking warmth and comfort on such a cold day. This was not what the beast had expected. He had never planned on approaching Sewyn or anyone who used to call him 'friend’. And here he was, holding his son for the first time and there was nothing he could do to assuage his pain.

Fen'Lathlen looked up at his father, the monster who stole his mother’s heart and broke it in the worst way, and rested a small hand on his cheek. “I w-want you to stay. You’re Falon and if you don’t hi-hide from her, Mamae will ask you to forgi-give her.” Despite the boy’s tears, he was smiling again. He was trying to make the tired god feel better by smiling. It was a trick Sewyn had used on Solas so many times. And it worked enough to make his father understand. Understand that he was not seen as a beast or a monster, a liar or a traitor. Not by the ones who loved him so honestly.


	3. Chapter 3

Falon had only left his son’s safe-room on the nights his mother slept. Solas would physically go to Sewyn, kiss away her tears and slip out before she could awake and find him there. Fen'Lathlen told him of the difference he was seeing. It wasn’t much, but Mamae didn’t cry as loudly or as much. She could actually hear her son calling to her in her dreams and she would smile at him and tell him how much he was loved.

This had been going on for weeks when he had been caught. Not by Sewyn herself, but by her most trusted friend, Leliana. The spymaster had planned on slitting his throat when a plate clattered to the floor and small hands pulled hard on her pant leg to get her attention. They were in Fen'Lathlen’s safe-room and the elfling was crying. “No, Auntie Leliana, please. You’ll ruin everything and Mamae will never be happy again. We’re making her happy.” The candles in the room crackled and fluttered with each breath the boy took.

“Little wolf, there is so much you do not know about this monster.” But Leliana had withdrew her dagger and released Solas.

“Don’t call him that!” The boy stamped his foot in anger. This was what Solas and Sewyn had created. A child who felt emotions so strongly that he could be considered a threat to even those he loved the most. Like father like son. Maybe this room wasn’t just to make the elfling feel safe, but to make others feel safe as well? When Solas had a free moment, he would have to ask the spymaster who had almost killed him. That wasn’t true. If Leliana wanted him dead, it would have happened already and any mess would have been cleaned up before Fen'Lathlen knew.

“Leliana has a right to be worried, Lathlen.” the father crouched in front of his son with a soft smile. “All she wants to do is protect your mother and make her happy, just like you.” Leliana watched closely as Solas took the boy’s face in his hands to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt him. Fen'Lathlen was such a fragile child and the sole heir of the Inquisition was just as important to the masses as their leader, if not moreso. “Remember what we talked about?”

“But she was gonna hurt you!” Fen'Lathlen let his father wipe away his tears. He looked up at his father and the spymaster understood. This was not mind control, this was not the same emotionless apostate who had broken the heart of the Inquisitor. This was a man trying to repent for his sins by taking care of his son, by showing him that it’s okay to let people worry about things. She slipped out of the room before ruining such an interesting moment. And to find out why no one had seen Solas yet.


	4. Chapter 4

“Da'len? Where are you hiding my dear? There’s someone here to see you.” The boy had been in the garden, picking weed flowers to give to his mother when she called to him. He grinned and ran to her, an idea in his little mind of just who it would be. He knew he would be right. There weren’t many people his mother trusted enough to meet the little mage without a proper security escort.

“Mamae, Mamae, I picked these for you!” Fen'Lathlen handed his mother the flowers before being lifted off the ground by a pair of strong arms. A thick beard and a booming laugh meant only one person. “Warden, did you make me any new toys? I missed you, how come you stay gone so long?” Moments like this would be spun into exciting stories by the elfling later when he would visit his father.

“Now what makes you think I made you another toy when you get new ones all the time from all over Thedas?” Blackwall adored the boy. Everyone in Sewyn’s old inner circle did. Being born right when people started to wonder what the Inquisition stood for with Corypheus defeated had that effect.

“Well you make the best toys and when they come from you, they’re extra special ‘cause you don’t buy them and give them to me because you think it’ll make Mamae like you, you do it 'cause you want to make me happy.” The only toys the elfling kept for himself were the ones given to him by his mother’s dearest friends. He gave all the others away to the rest of the children in Skyhold.

“Well he certainly knows you.” Sewyn laughed. Fen'Lathlen couldn’t wait until his father could make her do that. It would come soon enough.

“That you do, Fen.” The Grey Warden set the elfling down so he could dig in his bag. “I made you the whole set.” Little wooden figures of Sewyn’s friends. “Can you tell me who everyone is supposed to be?”

Fen'Lathlen sat on the ground as he set up all the toys. “This one is Mamae, then there’s Dory and Bull, Sera and Varric, Divine Victoria, you, Cassie, Cullen, Josie, Leliana and Cole…” The boy was stacking them in his lap as he counted them off. “Thank you, Warden!” This wasn’t the whole set, Solas was the only one Blackwall didn’t recreate for Sewyn’s sake. Fen'Lathlen wasn’t going to point it out though because in his mind, as far as Blackwall knew, he had no idea his father had been their friend. The others told him that his father was a wandering Apostate.

“You’re welcome, Fen. But… I think I’m missing one… Maybe check the box?” Warden Blackwall handed the boy a box to put the figures in. When he opened it, the little boy grinned and lifted the third and fourth elf figures out.

“Are these me and Solas?” The human nodded at him and stood when Fen began rearranging the box so all his new toys would fit. “Mamae, can I go show these to my friend?”

“Of course you can, Da'len.” Fen'Lathlen hugged the big warden in thanks before taking off running. “He’s got an imaginary friend in his safe-room, at first I thought it was a spirit, but Leliana’s 'met’ this new friend of his and he’s totally safe.” Sewyn explained as she linked her arm with Blackwall’s and they walked the grounds.

She was happier now than she had been in years. Blackwall couldn’t tell, couldn’t place exactly what was different about her. She looked healthier too, like she had been sleeping again, eating too by the way her clothes fit her. The Inquisitor had been so thin through most of her pregnancy that half of Thedas didn’t know she was even in the family way until she introduced her son to the masses. What a party that had been. They had broken into the good wine that night.

That was also when The Inquisitor told them what they stood for now that the main threat had been eliminated. They stood for hope, for a brighter future for their children. They were working with the Empress of Orlais and the King of Ferelden to restore peace among Thedas and even the Chantry. Corypheus had hurt everyone, and with the birth of her son, came a promise that the Inquisition would never waver from that plan, never be led astray by the power it wielded. Because even the smallest lives mattered.

Of course, when the party was winding down, the original inner circle got together and played one last game of Wicked Grace before going about their lives. Having them in different parts of both countries had expanded the Inquisition to the point where Skyhold was mostly a safe haven for those who wanted to help. And those who needed it.

'If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold and power, it would be a merrier world.’ That was her closing statement during her speech. That was when Blackwall finally realized he saw her as more than just a leader and a friend. That was when he realized he loved someone who would never feel the same.

That was okay with the human because the she-elf deserved more than him. Solas was no better, but he was still the father of her child. Thom Rainier knew that when someone gave you a piece of them like that, you never loved another in quite the same way. Warden Blackwall was no different. He and Solas had been too much alike in their lives. Solas was the one who pointed that out to him not long after Blackwall was recruited. They had both seen terrible things. They had watched death and destruction render that which they loved unrecognizable. It was calming to see something so familiar in another. When Solas first told him that, Blackwall didn’t understand what he meant. But after they learned the truth, after Sewyn told them what she knew, it clicked.

In their lives, Thom Rainier and Fen'Harel had been the ones who caused the death and destruction. Two kindred spirits bound by the love of a woman who had the most divine bad luck. Back when Blackwall thought he still had a chance for at least a moment’s respite with the Inquisitor, there had been a brief pissing match between the two males. It was when Blackwall saw it, saw the way Sewyn looked at Solas, they way she said his name and hung on his every word…. That he knew what was truly going on between the two elves. Not a fling, not something to help them forget about their troubles, if only for a few hours. It was something real, something felt so strongly by both sides that together, they really could weather any storm, stand the test of time…


	5. Chapter 5

Poetry was sappy and stupid and Sewyn loved it because it was so much easier to read than real books. She and Cassandra had traded books several times. There was one though, that the she-elf actually went out and bought after borrowing it from Cassandra. A blue thing with no dust jacket, her copy was old and falling apart and Sewyn had shared it with the one that meant the most to her. In a moment of quiet peace, she found herself reading it aloud as she sat by her hearth.

Fen'Lathlen was asleep in her bed. When he fell asleep after listening to her read, she never moved him. She always covered him with a blanket and slept on the couch. But the night was still young and she wasn’t tired. She hadn’t been staying up almost every night to wait for Solas. “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.” she continued reading to her sleeping son.

“For I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” A smooth voice finished the stanza and Sewyn looked to see if she had really heard that voice or if she had just fallen asleep and was dreaming of one of their private moments. This wasn’t a dream. He was there. Nothing in her body wanted to move. Her mind was shutting down, unable to comprehend this reality. “Ma vhenan…” He was approaching her, slowly, deliberately, as if to study her and make sure she would not run or scream.

Her eyes darted to the sleeping form of her son. “Solas, is it really you?” Was he really here this time, really real? When he was close enough, she reached out and touched his face. Every smile line and freckle, the scar on his forehead, those bright blue eyes and that gentle smile that always took her breath away. So many questions. Was he well? He looked healthy enough. What was he doing in Skyhold? He was crouched in front of her. He was alive and he was safe and Sewyn’s hands were trembling as she touched his slender face, the exposed skin of his neck. “I’m so sorry I drove you away.”

“You did not drive me away, I left because I knew this world would not be so kind as to grant me the words I needed to explain everything to you.” But she knew. Fen'Lathlen had told him that much. Was it Morrigan? Mythal herself? Whoever it was, it didn’t matter. They saved him from seeing the look on her face when she learned the truth. “He is truly a remarkable child.”

“He gets that from you.” Sewyn’s hand rested upon his neck, feeling his pulse as proof he wasn’t going to fade out of sight when she blinked. “I knew there was something different about the days and I couldn’t quite figure it out until now.” Just a kiss and she’d be satisfied for years. “Are you the one he’s been feeding and talking to?”

“Yes, I was very surprised when I first saw him, worried even that I would hurt him the way I hurt you or corrupt such an innocent heart but… He knew who I was the moment he found me and he wanted to spend time with me, get to know me.” So many questions Solas had, but he didn’t ask. He felt it wasn’t his place. If he had been here for their son, it would be different. Sewyn’s hand was so warm against his cool skin and just having it there was nice. He could feel her warmth and her pulse beating in time with his and it made him chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” She was smiling. He made her smile just by being there. Even after all he had done, even after hurting her, she didn’t see him as a monster.

“You don’t feel that, do you?” Solas had forgotten about this, forgotten how wonderful it was to feel her heart beating out the same rhythm. “You know the stories of when you find someone so perfect for you, your hearts sync when you’re together.” He moved from his crouched position to sit beside her, still close enough that they didn’t have to reach out to feel one another.

Sewyn leaned against his side. He had been seen as a monster to her people and she still loved him so dearly that she gave up everything she knew to be with him. “I do feel it, Solas. How could I not? ”

Lacing their fingers together, Solas brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed them. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. Always hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between. I must be honest, I had expected you to scream and demand I leave Skyhold upon seeing me again.”

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. There is no love for me like yours.” The she-elf needed to be closer, bury her hands in his shirt and her face in his neck. So she chose the easier of those two needs and rested her forehead against Solas’s neck.

He wanted to kiss her, hold her and explore all the things he had forgotten about her. But any thought of that was interrupted by a small yawn from the bed. “Mamae? Falon?” Fen'Lathlen sat up and rubbed his eyes. When the world came into focus, they were sitting together and smiling and he had to investigate further. So he slipped out of bed and stumbled over. “Mamae, are you happy that Falon is here?”

Sewyn liked it that Solas had let their son pick his name for him. Friend. To the boy who had only heard stories of him, it was better than the alternatives. “Yes, da'len. I am very happy he is here with us.”


	6. Chapter 6

Fen'Lathlen was only six. When Solas realized it, it amazed him even more that his son had already developed his magic. Sewyn had asked him to teach their son how to use his power. Who better to teach the son of an ancient god than said god himself? She had thought about calling for Dorian to help before Solas returned to Skyhold, but she didn’t need to worry about that anymore.

Solas had set up a few extra candles in the boy’s favorite hideout. They were practicing lighting a candle without a match. “You can do it, Lathlen, just focus on your breathing. Magic is really very simple, all you have to do is want something and then let yourself have it.”

The boy crawled into his father’s lap so he could have the help he needed. “I don’t understand.” He waved his hand the way he had seen Dorian and the Divine do it, but nothing happened.

“Do you want the candle to light?” Solas asked as he took his son’s hands in his own. He was so small, so fragile. Starting a fire was the easiest thing to learn for a mage. He had seen the boy do it a dozen times without realizing it. If he just focused his magic, it would be easy.

“No…” Lathlen shook his head, his hair falling in his face again. His father fixed it from behind with a soft chuckle. “I want to help people like Cole does, how does fire help people?”

“That’s very simple, Lathlen. Close your eyes and imagine being in a dark room. There are strange sounds all around you, floors creaking and walls shifting. You want to discover the cause of the sound, but you have no matches to speak of and you put your candles out before crawling into bed. What do you do?” Maybe this would be a better way to get him to focus.

Fen'Lathlen had his eyes closed as he tried to picture the scene his father painted. He could hear it, something moving in the darkness, he didn’t know what it was, but he wanted to. He couldn’t feel another with him the way you usually did when someone entered your room. What was it? What could possibly be there with him? He had to find out. It could be nothing. There was a candle by him, if he could light it without opening his eyes, maybe whatever was in his room would leave.

What Solas had not been expecting was every single candle in the room being lit at once, their flames shining brightly even during the day, as if chasing any darkness away. “Open your eyes now, Lathlen and look around.” He instructed.

“Did I do that?” There was always more than one candle in his room, like a path to his bed. There was a proud smile on Falon’s face and that made the boy smile as well. “I lit all these candles?”

“You certainly did. I am proud of you, my son.” A real laugh bubbled up when Fen'Lathlen blew out the candle in front of him to light it again and again. It was becoming easier with each attempt. “You are doing such a wonderful job. Perhaps tonight, you can show your Mamae what we have been working on.”

Solas had been in Skyhold for going on two months and those of Sewyn’s inner circle had no idea. Cole had gone with Varric to Kirkwall, Sera was helping the little people with her Red Jenny jobs, Dorian was making quite a name for himself as a magister in Tevinter with The Iron Bull by his side. Vivienne had been named The Divine, the first mage to sit upon the Sunburst Throne. Cassandra was the Lady Seeker for the newly rebuilt order. Blackwall was a Grey Warden and those who remained were Cullen, Josephine and Leliana.

When they met up at night, Sewyn would pour out her day and Solas would listen, offering advice only when asked. He lived for the nights they got to be together, just sitting in front of the fireplace and retelling old stories. Sewyn even had an unreleased copy of the new book Varric was working on, Those Who Stand: The Entirely True Story of Inquisitor Lavellan and Her Inquisition(A Working Title). Varric wanted her opinion on the book so he could edit it as needed.

It was to be a gift for Fen'Lathlen when fully edited and released. Everything he wouldn’t ask his mother for fear of dredging up some painful memory about this or that. The little boy snapped his father out of his thoughts by standing and smiling at him. “Will you walk the grounds with me? We have a mage tower, but Mamae says I’m not allowed to go in there until I’m older. There’s other places we can go. I like the library. We’ve got books from all over. You like reading, right? I don’t know how yet and Mamae isn’t very good at it. But that’s okay because Aunt Josie usually reads to me.”

“Yes, Lathlen, a trip to the library sounds wonderful.” And because Solas wanted to see his old office. Would Sewyn had covered up his artwork? It was her story, after all. The boy held his hand as they walked. People who remembered Solas stopped and stared. Their hushed whispers mattered little.

They made a quick detour through the kitchen so Fen'Lathen could get them lunch. “We’re going to the library. Can I bring Lady Fiona a strawberry tart? She really likes them.” he told the head cook. The woman used to be a ‘stick-in-the-mud’ according to Sera and Iron Bull, but she too had changed over the years.

“Of course you can, dear. Who is your friend?” She knew, of course she did. But she wasn’t going to curse the older elf in front of his son. He had been the reason their Inquisitor stopped eating, stopped putting in special requests. When Sewyn had been pregnant, the head cook practically forced her to eat.

“This is Falon, he’s my and Mamae’s guest.” The boy handed their lunch to his father and decided to carry the tart himself. Lady Fiona was nice, but she was sad. And the strawberry tarts made her happy. "Thank you, ma'am. We have important books to read, so we’ll have to get going now. I hope the rest of your day is good.“ With that, he dragged his father from the kitchen, not seeing the glare the human gave Solas.

"You are very kind, Lathlen.” Solas mused as they walked from the kitchen, through the main hall. “Others your age are usually not so.”

“Well, Mamae said that if you want people to be nice to you, you have to be nice to them first. And sometimes that doesn’t work, but I like being nice to people.” Fen'Lathlen pushed the door open to the Rotunda and pointed to the painted walls. “The story isn’t done, Mamae said that when the artist is ready to finish his work, he’ll come back and do it. I wish he would.” He had no idea that it was his father’s handiwork. “Come on, let’s get up the stairs so we can find good books.”


	7. Chapter 7

This was a gift for his son. Solas stood on the scaffolding as he worked on the mural, determined to finish it while the boy was tucked safely in his bed. Most of Skyhold was asleep at this late hour. Why wouldn’t they be? The moon was high in the sky. He had been seen by those living here, he was no longer a secret beast hiding away in a dark corner.

Those who didn’t need to know what he was, who he was, had welcomed him back happily. He had helped the Inquisitor save their lives. Many saw him as a hero, but he was far from it. Solas had only joined the Inquisition to get back his orb. He had not planned on falling in love with a mortal and having a child by her.

But… He was happy. If this was the life he was supposed to live, he would live it. He would not question anymore why he had been so blessed with so much blood on his hands. He had been so lost in his work that he hadn’t heard the soft footsteps entering the Rotunda.

“Solas, what are you still doing up?” Sewyn had her hands on her hips as she looked up at him. When Solas turned to face her, she started laughing. A beautiful melody Solas could listen to through the ages.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He helped her up the ladder, still unsure about their relationship and where they stood. “Why are you laughing?”

“Darling, hold still.” Darling. She had called him ‘Darling’. Solas filed that away for later use as Sewyn wiped paint from his forehead. “See? I assume you were mixing colors and wiped away sweat?” She sat on the edge of the scaffolding and looked at the walls. Solas had touched up the paint where it was needed.

“Your assumption would be correct.” Solas sat as well. They were silent for a while, just enjoying the feel of being next to one another again. His fear had kept them apart for years and her busy days kept them apart even now. He wanted to ask. How could she still hold a monster in her heart after he had hurt her, lied to her, left her alone without an explanation? He was a coward and a liar, not worth her time and her love.

“Because when I would see our son smile at me, I saw so much of you and felt so blessed for having been loved by you. As silly as it sounds, I always kept a candle burning in the night so you would see the light and not get lost on your way back to me. When you left and Morrigan told me the truth about you… That’s when I knew that scary things were scared too.” Solas had asked her why she still loved him and she was giving him her answer. “I thought to myself that I will take your demons and I will carry them all with me.”

“Ma vhenan…” How could he reply to her? Had he made his concerns vocal? Solas cupped her cheek and she pressed into his touch again. Never once did she shy away from him, never once did she fear him. Her lips were still soft and eager as Solas kissed her. He loved her more than words could describe. If he couldn’t find the words, he would show her. “Perhaps we should… Retire for the evening?”


	8. Chapter 8

Calloused fingers drew light patterns on her bare shoulder blade. Sewyn mumbled something as she curled closer into his side. Solas was here and he was real and he was going to stay. He had promised her that he would never leave again, not without taking her with him. And he would never go where she could not follow.

Bound to her so completely was the monstrous Dread Wolf. A beast who had betrayed his own kin. She had washed away his sins and darkness with her love and her light. He would love her through the ages, give up everything for her and the son they shared. She was too good for this world, for him, but Fen'Harel would be there to see that she never faded away.

The sun shone through the windows and there was a knock at the door. “Inquisitor, you have visitors here to see you.” It was Cullen. Sewyn whined and pressed her face into her bed-partner’s shoulder.

“Ma vhenan, it is time to get up. If your visitors are important enough to have one of your advisors wake you, you should greet them.” Solas kissed her forehead. “We should also check on our Lathlen too.”

That got Sewyn up. She smiled at Solas and dressed in plain clothes. A quick brush through her hair and she waas ready to meet these important visitors. “You have new clothes, by the way. I had Josephine order you some from Val Royeaux. I hope you like them.” She left him to greet Cullen’s threats of entering anyway. He did have a key, after all. Nothing was really stopping him. “Who are these important guests, Cullen.”

“You’ll see when you get down to the main hall.” Cullen let Sewyn link her arm with his. “Leliana called them all together, I was just as surprised by their arrival.” She was happy, truly happy. When Cullen first learned of Solas walking the grounds freely, she had told him the apostate was a welcome guest, not a prisoner, he was free to leave if he so chose. And judging by the way Sewyn was glowing, Solas chose to stay.

“There she is!” A female voice crowed before engulfing Sewyn in a tight hug. “Hey, Herald, took you long enough to get down from your tower to see the little people, yeah?”

“Sera!” Everyone was there. Everyone except Lady Victoria, the Divine. That was to be expected, though. “What are you all doing here? It’s so great to see you all again.” Hugs were given out freely from the leader of the Inquisition. “Cole, look at you, you’ve got facial hair and everything.” Sewyn took Cole’s face in her hands. “And you’ve been eating and sleeping?”

“Yes, I’ve grown, I’m a real human now.” Had it really been so long since Sewyn saw him? Why hadn’t Varric told her about this in his letters? This was a very big deal.

“He’s even found himself a pretty little thing in Kirkwall who thinks he’s just the best.” Varric teased, making Cole blush.

“Come on, we have so much to catch up about, have you all had breakfast yet? I hope not because I just woke up and I missed my chance to eat last night.” Sewyn led them to one of the tables in the main hall.

Laughter filled the main hall as the old friends had breakfast. The laughter quickly died down when Solas entered through the Inquisitor’s quarters and they stared. Seeing him there was unexpected. None had been informed of his arrival.

“Solas, come have breakfast with us.” The Iron Bull stood to greet him from his seat next to Sewyn, as if waiting for her to react poorly or show any hint of emotion other than positive. That wasn’t the case. Her whole face lit up and the others saw it too. She was still blindly in love with the apostate.

They didn’t ask him what he was doing back, when he had arrived, why he had returned. Who their friend slept with was none of their concern. As they talked, a sleepy little elf crawled into his father’s lap. “Sleep well, Lathlen?” He was still in his nightclothes.

“There he is, look at how tall you’ve gotten, you’re almost as tall as Varric now.” Iron Bull greeted Fen'Lathlen with a wide smile.

“Hey!” Varric responded to that crack at his height by tossing one of the breakfast rolls.

Fen ate from the plate Solas hadn’t touched as if his father had made if for him. “You can make magic anywhere, Solas? Ever piss it by accident?” Sera asked the older elf as he cut his son’s meat to make it easier to chew.

“No.” He replied, not looking up. “Wait… No.”

“What? How would you not remember something like that?” Sera had to ask because Solas genuinely had to think about whether he had accidentally pissed magic before.

“We were all young once.” When Solas looked up, he was smirking at Sera. Her silent disappointment earned laughs from their friends… They still spoke to him, counted him as a friend.

“Hey boss, is Solas the reason you missed your chance to eat last night?” Iron Bull asked. “I mean, he did come out of your chambers and it did take you a long time to get down here.”

“Bull! That’s hardly an appropriate question to ask over breakfast!” Sewyn replied, her face turning red. It would have been a different story if Fen'Lathlen wasn’t sitting in a close enough proximity to hear and ask questions.

“At least we’re not asking about all those red marks on your neck.” Blackwall teased. The Inquisitor covered her neck and glared at him. “Marking your territory, eh, Solas?”

“Oh come on, it’s pretty romantic when you think about it. This would be a great book. The beautiful heroine saves the world from total destruction and when she turns around, her elven-god lover has mysteriously vanished without a word. After years of hoping for his return, there he is. And they live happily ever after. Maybe have a few more kids, rebuild the empire and all that.” It was Varric’s turn to get in on the teasing. The idea of turning it into a book had caught Cassandra’s attention.

“Nobles and commoners alike are curious to know more about the Inquisitor’s… Private affairs.” She had loosened up a little bit over the last few years, enough to smile and make jokes with her friends. “A best-seller, I’m sure.”

“Maker’s breath…” Poor, sweet, Sewyn was trying her hardest to finish her breakfast and not pass out from embarrassment. “These are the people I chose to recruit myself, these are the people I had by my side when the world almost ended… I really must have hit my head hard at the Conclave if I thought bringing you lot along with me was a great idea.”

“You love us, Holy Lady-Bits.” Sera grinned at the other she-elf. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have come down from your love-nest.”

“Cullen was the one who retrieved me and said I had important visitors, I had no idea he was talking about you. I would have been content to just ignore you lot all day and stay in bed.” Sewyn smiled, her previous embarrassment subsiding.

“You would have heard no complaints from me, vhenan.” And there it was, another round of laughter and Sewyn’s face reddening again.


	9. Chapter 9

With Solas trying to put Fen'Lathlen to bed after such an exciting day of playing with his aunts and uncles, Sewyn sat at a table in the tavern, cards in her hands. A round of Wicked Grace to finish out a great day. “I’ll see your seven silvers and raise you five gold.” She smirked at Dorian.

“You’re bluffing.” He frowned. There was no way this was going to end well. After all, Blackwall had already lost his armor to the Inquisitor and was sitting in his light clothes.

“Am I? When have you ever known me to lose a bet, Magister Pavus?” This was a woman who had bet on herself when the world was going to shit. Her confidence was unnerving sometimes.

“Just because you saved the world and took all our money doesn’t mean this is the same thing.” Varric replied. “How were we supposed to know you could actually pull it off? You were just a Dalish elf with a glowing hand and a bow.”

“We’ve trekked all over Ferelden, stopping mages and Templars from killing one another, taken down bears and dragons and saved the empress of Orlais from being assassinated. A crazy man claiming to be a god was terrifying, but I’m damn good with my bow.” Sewyn got cocky when she got drunk. Ask her about her adventures when she was sober and her point of view on what happened was boring. Get her drunk and she was extremely proud of herself. That was why she wasn’t allowed to drink.

“Alright then, show us your cards. Let’s see how badly you beat us.” Iron Bull laid his cards down, two pairs. Varric had four of a kind and Dorian a straight flush. Blackwall’s hand was the worst. One pair.

“Four kings and a queen. I win again, gentlemen. Pay up.” Sewyn giggled, holding a hand out for Blackwall’s shirt. The warden was slow to remove it. “Oh look at all those tattoos, Warden Blackwall. Is that a woman’s name I see?”

“No it certainly is not.” He put a hand over the name on his chest. Sewyn and Iron Bull shared a look before the Qunari grabbed the warden and pulled his hands away.

“Oh look at that, who is Merida? Is she beautiful? I bet she is. Are you married yet? Got a bearing or two of your own?” Sewyn teased. “Come on, Blackwall, we’re your friends, you can tell us all about her.”

“Her name is Merida Cadash.” Blackwall deserved this for teasing Sewyn earlier.

“Cadash? You’re with the only daughter of one of the most powerful families in the Carta?” Varric was extremely proud to hear that. No one could work their way into the pants of a Cadash. He knew, he had tried when he was younger.

Sewyn smirked. “Marked her territory, yeah, Blackwall?” That was sharp payback for the comment at breakfast and Blackwall deserved it.

“Why is Blackwall shirtless and why are you hoarding his armor?” Solas sat at the table and began reshuffling the deck of cards.

“Because the poor sod doesn’t know when to back out of a bet and when he runs out of money, he starts using everything else he has on his person to bet with.” Sewyn hummed as the barmaid brought the table another round of ale.

“I really hope you’re paying for all these drinks, Inquisitor because you’re taking all our money.” Dorian pouted as Solas dealt the cards out like he had been playing the game the entire night.

“Now Dorian, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t pay for your drinks with your own money. I wonder if the bartender will accept Blackwall’s armor as payment… I bet if I had it melted down, I could get a quite a good sum of money for it.” Sewyn suggested as she glanced at her cards. Solas was a damn cheat at this game. So was she, stacking the deck in her favor, but this was way worse. The worst hand she had gotten all night.

Blackwall looked extremely offended by that. “Don’t you dare, a Warden’s armor is very expensive.” He told her and lifted his cards. Not too bad of a hand, thanks to Solas.

The game was getting stressful as everyone placed their bets, just that much more confident about their hands. “So, have fun reading five stories and making up three of your own to tell Fen?” Varric asked as he took a drink of his ale.

“I’m just amazed he actually went to sleep with everyone here. Usually he won’t go to sleep so much as sit on Bull’s shoulders and cry until Blackwall takes him and he passes out.” Sewyn had known firsthand how hard it was to get their son to sleep when he was excited. He didn’t want to miss anything so he would force himself to stay awake until it got him cranky and then it became even harder to get him to sleep without the Warden’s help.

Solas smiled. “It was quite easy, actually. And I didn’t have to tell him any stories at all. He was the one telling them to me. For some odd reason, Fen'Harel and The Tree is his favorite story… With quite a few details changed, but the memory is still there.” He glanced over to Varric as the dwarf sank into his chair. “Am I right in assuming that was your doing?”

“Yeah… The kid wanted to hear a story about some of the old elven gods and that’s the only one I actually know. I had to tweak it a bit, make the story a lot better than what I read, but that’s what happens, right? Stories change over the ages until all that remains is the base plot. I hadn’t planned on him asking me to tell it over and over again until he was mouthing the words.” It was an interesting story, Varric saw the similarities Sewyn’s relationship with Solas shared with the Dread Wolf’s relationship with Andruil. “ My only question is, are you waiting for Sewyn to tie you to up and demand you serve her in bed for a year and a day to make up for being gone so long?”

“A year and a day, the rest of our lives, I would agree to either option so long as I am not tied to a tree without my clothes and forgotten about overnight.” They were openly talking about the stories of Fen'Harel without fearing who he was. Was it because of Sewyn? Or because they considered Solas their friend?

“Wait, Fen'Harel was naked in that story?” asked Dorian. “That’s not written in any of the lore books. What had you been doing that you were naked? Dancing in the moonlight and growing flowers with your song?”

“I was trying to bathe when she captured me.” Solas was relaxed enough to actually talk about himself with these people. He never thought he would see the day. “It’s very hard to disagree with The Huntress when she has an arrow digging into the small of your back.”

“But you’re a mage, couldn’t you have just frozen her and escape?” The Iron Bull asked. Did they actually care about his answer, or did they just want to talk about the fact that he had been caught with his pants down?

“At that age, yes. But I wouldn’t have been able to hide for very long.” Not from Andruil. He wouldn’t have wanted to.

“So instead, you pointed out a flaw in her armor to one of the Forgotten Ones and let him weaken her.” Sewyn finished her ale and stacked the tankard with the others, making a wall to block out any eyes that might have been trying to watch. Part of the drunken she-elf was worried that would be her fate. But when Solas had the chance when they faced Corypheus, had he done that? No. That was a good thing, right?

Dorian interrupted what could have possibly started a fight between the elves. “But just as Anaris thought he had won, Fen'Harel distracted him long enough for Andruil to get back to her feet and Anaris fell with a golden arrow in his back. So it wasn’t so much as the Dread Wolf trying to get her killed but trying to get his own freedom back, yes?” The magister was spinning it so Fen'Harel was the victim.

Which he was. Being bound against his will and told what his fate would be had not set well with the cocky young elf. “I had three options at that point so I chose the one that wouldn’t result in being dead or a slave.” Andruil hadn’t used the rope of the People. No, she had decided to use her rope, the kind that could actually bind a god.


	10. Chapter 10

“You loved her, didn’t you?” Sewyn was so drunk she couldn’t see straight but closing her eyes made her dizzy. So she stared at Solas’ shoulder as he carried her to her bed. Something to focus on while the world shifted and stuttered around her. “Andruil, I mean. Did you love her?”

“I did love her once, but that was ages ago…” Sewyn would be too drunk to remember this conversation in the morning so Solas indulged her. “Why would that matter now?” He sat her on her bed and helped her change into her night clothes.

“Because that’s what you do, isn’t it? You love someone, hurt them and then leave. How many other women have you pledged yourself to over the years?” She was half dressed as she stood and staggered around the room. “And what happens when I’m not what you want anymore? Just going to leave me again when my back is turned? Or when I’m asleep?”

“I will leave you again, yes.” Solas stood and took Sewyn by the wrists before she could get mad enough to throw something at him. “When your heart stops beating, when your last breath is taken away. But until that time, Sewyn of Clan Lavellan, I will stay with you. Be by your side and hold you because I love you. I would not have returned if I felt nothing for you the way you’re thinking I do.”

“Well…” She chewed her lip. “I had a lot of lonely nights… And there were only so many times I could crawl into Cullen’s bed without guilt eating at my insides…” Cullen? Solas was surprised to hear Sewyn’s admission of using her commander to help her forget the pain Solas put her through. Was that why Cullen had been so cold to him since he had been discovered? “He knew why but he never turned me away…”

Sewyn pulled away from Solas and his warmth. “We didn’t even do anything, it was just me getting into his bed and him holding me while I cried. If the commander of my army can’t sleep, he can’t work and that’s not fair to him.”

Solas stared in confusion, trying to understand what she was talking about. “So you did not lay with Cullen?”

“Maker’s Balls, no. He’s a very handsome shem, I’ll give him that, but we never got intimate.” The Inquisitor made a disgusted face. “How could you suggest such a thing?”

This was how fights started between lovers. Sewyn had started this fight and Solas wasn’t going to let her lose. “I apologize for my assumption, ma vhenan. It was very rude of me.”

“I… Forgive you.” Solas watched her undress and crawl into bed. “Are you going to go back to painting or stay with me tonight?” Even before his return, Sewyn couldn’t sleep without someone in her bed with her. That was why she went to Cullen so often. He was strong and warm and safe and he was more like a brother to her than any of her former clansmen.

“I would be honored to stay with you tonight and every night.”


	11. Chapter 11

Solas was lost in his studies, pouring over one ancient tome after another. The faint sound of wood tapping against wood could be heard but he ignored it as he turned the page. When the sound continued, Solas realized there were wooden figures on his desk. Who could have put them there? There was no one on this level of the rotunda except himself. Upon further examination, he realized the figures were of his little family. They were standing together with Fen'Lathlen in the middle.

The wood work bore a striking resemblance to something Blackwall would make. Had he made these for the Inquisitor’s son? When a little hand reached up to add another figure, Solas tapped his knuckles, making Fen'Lathlen giggle and pull his hand away. “Falon, play with me.” His head was barely visible over the top of the desk when he stood.

“Alright, Lathlen, what would you like to play?” When a stuffed nug with wings was tossed on his desk, it was a little surprising.

“I wanna slay the dragon.” Fen'Lathlen carried his box of figures and let his father pick him up. “This is the dragon and Mamae said the first time she slayed a dragon, she had you, Iron Bull and Blackwall with her and you were trying to explore Crestwood after saving it from a rift in the Fade that was under the big lake that’s not there anymore.”

“That’s right, Lathlen.” Seeing Sewyn stand against a High Dragon with naught but her bow had been… Solas would never be able to describe that feeling. She had been so unafraid. “Why are we hunting this dragon?”

“Well, it ate a few townspeople, you see? And she got a taste for people. So we gotta kill her or else she’ll eat more people in an already small town.” Fen'lathlen positioned the figures of his mother and father in the back with Cassandra and Blackwall in the front.

“Why are you not fighting the dragon, Lathlen?” Solas watched his son growl and move the stuffed winged-nug around like it was actually the dragon.

“‘Cause I’m not good with my magic yet like you and Mamae doesn’t like me playing with weapons but she said for my next birthday, she’s going to start teaching me just in case I’m in a sit-you-aye-shun where I can’t use my magic.” Lady Fiona had told him that some humans were afraid of magic because they didn’t understand it and they wouldn’t always treat him differently because of it, but there was the chance.

When Fen'Lathlen had cried to Cullen about it, Cullen told him that if it made him feel better, he would teach him to use a sword and shield. Sewyn hadn’t liked that very much when she found her son running around with a little wooden sword, a real shield and Cullen’s lion helmet.

“We did it!” The little mage giggled when his stuffed animal was knocked off the table. He had been in charge of the warriors while his father was the mage and the rogue. “How do we celebrate?”

“How about….” Solas helped his Lathlen clean up the mess they had made. “We go find your Mamae and ask her to have lunch with us in the garden?”

Eyes lit up with excitement and the form of Fen'Lathlen disappeared from his father’s lap. “Come on, let’s go. We can pack everything in a basket and have a picnic.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Solas…” Sewyn moaned as his hands explored her body, worshipping her soft skin. The Dread Wolf had the Little Hare pinned beneath him and he had no intention of hurting her. The only intention he had was bringing her pleasure. “More… Please.”

Their passion was interrupted by a soft, repetitive knock at the door. “Maybe if we ignore them, they’ll go away.” Solas hummed into Sewyn’s temple. It had been a great idea in her eyes until the knock was coupled with a child’s voice.

“Mamae? Mamae are you awake?” It was Fen'Lathlen. The mother shoved Solas off her and quickly pulled on a robe as she rushed to the door. When she opened it, Fen'Lathlen sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Mamae…”

“Da'len, what’s wrong?” Sewyn pulled her son into her arms and carried him up to her bed. This interruption was more important than what she had been previously doing… Who she had been previously doing. “Why are you out of bed so late?”

“There’s something scary in my room.” He whined and clutched her robe. “I lit my candles the way Falon showed me but that only made it scarier.”

“That’s okay, my love.” Solas watched Sewyn get back into bed, holding their son like he was still an infant. “Mamae’s here. Hush, Lathlen. Nothing will hurt you. Falon is here too, see?”

Solas was thankful he had pulled his loose pants on before Sewyn had gotten Fen'Lathlen up the stairs. He moved closer to his little family with a soft smile. “Do you want to stay in here with Mamae while I go see what’s in your room?” When Fen'Lathlen nodded, Solas kissed Sewyn and stood. “I’ll drive those scary things away and your room will be safe again.”

Fen'Lathlen had been asleep by the time Solas returned. “What was it?” The boy’s mother whispered as she looked up. Solas smiled when Fen'Lathlen snuggled closer to his mother’s side.

“His fearsome dragon.” The stuffed nug with wings was in his hand. “To one so small, a fear of shadows in the moon light is understandable.” Solas crawled into the bed as well and slipped the stuffed animal under his son’s arm.

“I would be terrified too. Nugs have scary little feet.” Sewyn huffed. “I say we meet back here after breakfast and finish what we started tonight. Would you be up for that?” Both parties had been left feeling very unsatisfied. But that was what being a parent was about.

“You would hear no complaints from me, ma vhenan.” Solas watched her as she drifted off to sleep before slipping out of bed to stand on the balcony and look at the moon and the stars. Every time Fen'Harel felt that urge to run and never stop, Solas would look to Sewyn to keep him grounded.

There had been times, before Corypheus had been defeated, that he felt like he had been living a double life. The Dread Wolf had not seen this sort of happiness in his future. He had never planned on staying in the end. He had planned on getting what he needed and leaving without a trace. Maybe return again in a hundred years to explore, reliving the memories the Inquisition had left behind.


	13. Chapter 13

“Solas, Cullen got our son an early birthday gift.” Sewyn hummed as she and her lover lounged in bed after a long day of dealing with diplomats and nobles.

“Are you telling me this because you feel like you cannot compete with Cullen’s gift?” He carded his fingers through her hair with a soft smile.

“Because all the stories I was told about the gods growing up… I’m worried about your reaction…”

Before Solas could ask what was so important about his reaction, he bristled. Fen'Lathlen burst into their room without knocking, a Mabari pup bouncing beside him and barking happily.

“Oh.” He rubbed his face and tried not to make his displeasure so obvious in front of their son.

“Falon, Falon! Look what uncle Cullen got for me! He even said he’ll help me train him! so we can always play together. But he already understands me! Watch. Sit, Dog.” The pup sat, his whole butt shaking as he wagged his tail. “Isn’t he so smart?”

“Yes he is, Da'len. Has Josephine seen him yet? Why don’t you go show her?” Sewyn suggested, eager to make Solas feel more comfortable.

“Yes, Mamae.” As soon as that monster was out of the room, Solas was getting up and dressing.

“Solas, where are you going in such a rush? I tried telling Cullen that getting Fen a Mabari was a bad idea but he wouldn’t listen…” What was going on? Was he leaving because of some dog? Did this mean those particular stories were true?

“I’m just going for a walk, ma vhenan. I promise I will be back.” Solas kissed her forehead. He just needed to have a serious chat with the commander of the Inquisition’s forces.

Cullen was getting ready to head off to bed when the door to his office slammed open, startling him and making him pull a dagger from a waist band. “Oh, Solas… It’s just you.” He sighed, resheathed the knife and leaned against his desk. “How may I help you?” Something was telling him he wished he was still wearing his armor.

“You think you’re so funny, don’t you?” This wasn’t the usual stoic Solas everyone knew. No, this was the beast within him, full of anger and ready to lash out. Cullen stood there with that same stupid look on his face. Fen'Harel was ready to tear it off.

“I did my research when Sewyn came to me, heavily pregnant and crying. Morrigan had just told her that you’re not just another apostate, you’re one of the most feared gods in the Elven Pantheon.” He crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk. “I had tried to give Sewyn a Mabari when she had her son, she told me she was perfectly capable of raising him without a beast around.”

The anger was rising in the Dread Wolf. He could easily wipe Cullen out of existence. He could make it look like the commander had finally relapsed and went mad with grief before throwing himself off the ramparts. It would be so easy to get away with it. Just a few sad words to Sewyn and she would not see his hand in Cullen’s ‘suicide’. “Am I supposed to fear you, human?”

“'Take the Dread Wolf by the ear if he comes.’ Like I said, research.” Cullen moved passed Solas so he would have more room to defend in case he struck a nerve too deep. “You think that just because Sewyn welcomed you back with open arms, the rest of us will do the same? You left her. You hurt her and lied to her. That pup I gave Sewyn’s son? He’s just a reminder to think twice about tricking her and her son.”

“So you’re trying to threaten me?” The elf chuckled. He knew what Cullen was trying to do. He was trying to get under his skin and make him think he could do anything. The human had no chance against Fen'Harel. “Because you couldn’t get Sewyn to love you, you think getting my son a filthy mutt will… What? Scare me? I have faced thousands of men like you, Cullen and I am the one still standing.”

“Then take my words as a promise, Fen'Harel.” The human spat the name as if trying to get the taste from his mouth. “In that story, the hound kept on your tail until you were forced to do something drastic because you tried to hurt his master. I will make sure you think twice about playing your tricks on the Inquisitor and the son she had to raise without you. Do you know who was there for everything? Me. I taught him how to walk, I taught him his first words, I taught him how to take a piss. And then you come back in the middle of the night and act like you had never left in the first place.”

“So this is just jealous spite. I’m sure your dear leader would love to hear what you told me.” Fen'Harel was circling the human. “She would love to know that you only gave our son a dog in an attempt to threaten me. Didn’t she warn you? Tell you I was no prisoner? Do you really think she would take your side? Or have you forgotten who brings her pleasure at night?” He was behind Cullen, the smirk obvious in his voice as he spoke in a low tone. “How does it feel, human? To know the woman you so greatly desire screams another’s name when she’s lost in her passion.”

“I may not have her heart on a string the way you do, but I have something of her’s that you will never be able to win. I have her trust.” Two fierce beings standing against one another. The Great Lion and The Dread Wolf. A battle many would pay to see. When The Great Lion turned to stare down the Dread Wolf, blood was spilled.

No magic, just two animals fighting the way they would over a piece of meat. All claws and teeth, a battle for dominance. Fists and fangs.

Though the Great Lion did not have his usual protection, he did not need it. The Dread Wolf was a good match, but was he good enough. Time had taken her toll on both. Were they younger, the Great Lion had no doubt the Dread Wolf would have bested him. But that was not the case now.

A shoulder out of it’s socket, a nose broken, ribs cracked and blood on the ground. What was surely meant to be a battle to the death was cut short when an elbow connected with something softer than a wall or support beam. The Great Lion and the Dread Wolf had been so battle focused, neither of them heard the door open, felt gentle hands trying to save their lives.

Until the Little Hare cried in pain. Both the Dread Wolf and the Great Lion surrendered when the Little Hare staggered to her feet. She pushed them away to stand on her own two feet, something she had gotten good at. “What is the meaning of this?” She wiped the blood from her split lips.

The Great Lion and the Dread Wolf both feared the wrath of the Little Hare. The Little Hare had stood tall against demons and dragons and truly savage monsters threatening to bring about the destruction of everything she loved.

“I-Inquisitor…” Cullen gasped. The pain in his dislocated shoulder was nothing compared to seeing Sewyn on the ground because one of them had elbowed her in the mouth. Maker, had it been him? Had he done that to her? He must have.

“Ma vhenan?” Solas held his ribs with one arm and tried to wipe the blood from his face with the other. He knew he had been the one to hurt her, physically this time. There was no way it couldn’t have been him.

“I don’t want to hear it from either of you.” Inquisitor Lavellan was, above all else, a mother and both men felt like children waiting to be punished for doing something far more frivolous than fighting. When they were hauled along by their ears, they did not protest, they did not verbalize their pain. “If you want to act like a couple thugs, you’ll be treated as such until I figure out what to do with you.”

They had not stopped in the main hall, nor did they go to the war table. The Inquisitor dragged both men to the dungeon where the guard was sleeping. “Wake up.” She kicked her feet to wake her.

“Your Worship, what’s going on?” The guard fumbled to her feet and saluted her. “What happened?”

“Just open two cells. Don’t listen to either of them or open these doors until a healer comes.” The guard did as she was told and locked the gates after the ex-templar and the mage were in individual cells. The gaping hole in the floor was a constant reminder to both that Sewyn could have just pushed them to their deaths.


	14. Chapter 14

Sewyn was letting Cullen and Solas stew in their misery while she herself scrubbed the blood from the floor in Cullen’s office. She had interrupted their fight only two days ago. Fen'Lathlen was not allowed to visit either male in the dungeons. He was never allowed in that part of Skyhold anyway.

“Inquisitor, you must speak to someone about what happened.” The she-elf looked up to see Josephine standing in the doorway. Cullen’s office had been locked to hide what happened and the bloodstained clothes burned as if a murder had been committed.

“The fools got into a fight, someone elbowed me in the face and now they’re playing cards in the dungeon while they’re forced to talk out their differences. There’s nothing to discuss until I decide to let them out.” Her lips itched but she wasn’t allowed to scratch. Healer’s orders. Her scrubbing became more and more furious until she broke down crying.

Cullen and Solas were so dead when Josephine got down there. The Antivan went to her friend and pulled her into a hug. “Please don’t cry. Please…” Sewyn buried her face in Josephine’s neck and mumbled something. “I don’t know why they would do that.” The elf mumbled something else. “No, I don’t think Solas was trying to leave and Cullen stopped him.”

Solas set his cards down and looked to the entrance of the dungeon. “Lady Montilyet is not happy.” he said as a chill passed over both men. It was either the hole in the floor or the wrath of the Inquisitor’s ambassador.

“I’m sure she and Leliana want our heads on pikes. Varric can write a book all about it.” Cullen chuckled. “Got any fours?”

“No. Got any aces?” The wrath of those women would be terrifying even to the likes of him. When the door was slammed open, Solas smirked when Cullen yelped. Josephine and Leliana were there. “They’ve come for our heads, I’m sure.”

The human snorted from the next cell over before clearing his throat. Josephine was glaring at him and he felt the fires of hell freeze over. “Are either of you willing to tell us how this fight started? Or do we have to leave you here longer?”

“I say we just dangle one of them over the edge until he passes out or tells us why they elbowed Lady Lavellan in the face.” That one hurt. Good. Leliana wanted them to hurt. Both fools deserved it.

“Oh that would be too kind, Leliana. Perhaps a gibbet would be better?” Women were terrifying when one of their friends got hurt. Were all women like that?

“I told you they wanted our heads on pikes.” Cullen got to his feet and dusted himself off. “Ladies, if you must know, our… Fight was about…” He scratched the back of his head and wavered under their collective gaze.

“I had planned on leaving again.” Solas lied so beautifully it was considered the truth by Josephine who gasped and Leliana who remained silent. “I went to Cullen to have him pass on the message to Sewyn. When he tried to stop me, I resorted to blows like a child.”

“Why would you try to leave again?” Josephine asked softly. Solas leaving would have broken the Inquisitor and her son.

“I have never desired a family, a stable life. Being here for so long has just reminded me of that. There is no future for me here.” Fen'Harel was really laying it on thick, wasn’t he? “When Sewyn is old and gray, I will not be. The Inquisitor does not need people crying ‘blood magic’ in an attempt to slander her.”

“What of Sewyn? Your son? You would just leave them behind?” Josephine was getting angrier by the moment.

“That’s what I said!” Cullen defended himself and his actions. As far as he could tell, he was the only one who knew Solas was lying to them. Their fight was much more childish than that.

“Then go.” Sewyn had been listening in, hiding in the doorway out of the view of the men in their cells. “But before you do,” she took the keys from the guard. “You have to face your son and explain to him why you would leave him so soon after entering his life.” The Inquisitor freed her elven prisoner and held the door open for him.

Leliana put a hand on Sewyn’s shoulder in an attempt to keep her strong. The spymaster knew this was a game of wills. Either Solas would leave Skyhold, leave Sewyn and Fen'Lathlen, or he would stay out of guilt. “Ma vhenan…” He couldn’t meet her gaze.

“I knew you wouldn’t stay. I always knew I was never good enough for you. After all, I’m just a fool of a Dalish Hunter without any clan to speak of.” When Solas tried to exit the cell, Sewyn put a hand out to stop him. “But know this, Fen'Harel. If you truly desire your freedom so much, you will never again be welcome in Skyhold. Not so long as I run the Inquisition.”

Sewyn didn’t look at Solas as she let Cullen out of his cell. This was Cullen’s fault. All because he gotten Fen'Lathlen a fucking dog. He was the real reason the Inquisitor was feeling as cold as she was and he couldn’t tell her that after she had already told Solas to leave. If Solas didn’t tell the truth, Cullen would hold his tongue.

“I understand, Inquisitor Sewyn, Herald of Andraste.” Solas didn’t want to face his son. But what choice did he have? Either sit in the dungeon or roam Thedas for the rest of his undying days. Wandering and helping The People sounded like a much better option. In Skyhold, Fen'Harel was useless. The five left the dungeon together, not a word between them.

Leliana and Josephine were escorting Solas to the Inquisitor’s private chambers while she went to go find her son. “You will be provided with gold should you need it and a horse to get you where you plan on going.” Leliana told him as he packed his bag.


	15. Chapter 15

“Remember what the spirits told you, Lathlen.” Solas was crouched in front of his son, wiping away the boy’s tears. “You know how to find me if you ever truly need help. And should you ever miss me, look up to the moon and know that I will be looking as well.”

“But why are you leaving?” Fen'Lathlen was rubbing his face into his father’s calloused hands. “Don’t you love Mamae and me?”

“I love you both very much. And that is why I must go.” When the boy clutched his sleeves, Solas felt that grip around his heart. “When you are older, you will understand.”

“I wanna know now!” More tears fell from Fen'Lathlen’s face as he tried to keep his father from standing and leaving him behind.

“Lathlen, when you have come of age, if you still wish to know why I am leaving, then go West. We’ll meet again some sunny day.” With a heavy heart, the beast rose to his feet and freed his sleeve from the grip that had only tightened.

“Dareth Shiral, Solas.” Sewyn picked the struggling elfling up and held him close to her chest. The mother had shown no emotion yet. But Solas knew she would break down when she was alone and her son had cried himself to sleep. “Ar lasa mala revas.” That was the most elvish Sewyn had spoken in years.

“Emma ir abelas, ma vhenan.” Solas mounted the horse the Inquisition had given him and left Skyhold, trying to ignore his son’s cries. The beast had entered to the sound of his lover crying and he was leaving to the sound of his son doing the same.

Memories in the Fade would only satisfy him so much and invading her dreams was not going to happen. Sewyn of Clan Lavellan was a huntress with no reserve, not in war and not in love. She had taken a monster by the hand and loved him, left him feeling more pain, more fear, than he ever thought possible.

And the monster had done the same to her…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this and a sequel written up before I had gotten GOTY edition and saw Trespasser. But I was thinking of posting it anyway. If anyone actually liked it, please let me know if you would want to see the sequel.


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